Tech

I Do Not Want Your Stupid App

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I do not want your stupid app
I will not use this siloed crap.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
I do not want this mobile spam!

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Would you like them on your phone?
On your waking home screen shown?

No! And no and no and no!
I do not want your stupid app
I do not want these wares of crap.
Your interstitials make me mad!
My ad blockers will make you sad.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
I do not want this mobile spam!

Don’t you want your content trapped?
Don’t you want your actions mapped?

Not on a tablet,
Not on a phablet.
Not on an Android on the bus,
Not on a rose-gold 6S Plus.
Let this trend begin to ebb
Redecentralize the web.

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Would you? Could you? If they’re slick?
Would you? Could you? If they’re quick?
You can use this app offline.
Interruptions can be thine!

I would not, could not, just for speed.
LTE removes that need.
HTML5 can cache offline.
I do not want your pushes’ chimes.
I do not want your stupid app
I will not use this siloed crap!

Say! Would you log in and register?
And would you tell us if you are a mister?
Would you approve our permission list?
We’re sorry but we really must insist.
May we track your location in background?
For we have to know where you can be found.
You can just log in with Facebook!
(Without reading our privacy gobbledigook.)

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Not with your privacy policy,
Not with your meaningless homily.
Not with your terms and conditions,
Not with your greedy permissions.
I want content hyperlinked,
I refuse to be hoodwinked.

I do not want your stupid app
I do not want these wares of crap.
Let this trend begin to ebb
Redecentralize the web!

Here’s an offer out of kilter
Would you, if it photo-filtered?
If it let you post a Vine
If it let you share designs?
If this app let you create
Might you then participate?

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Say! I might participate!
My objections dissipate!
If an app is for creation
It could meet my approbation.
If it is designed for makers,
Not to monetize for takers,
If so, well then, I mean, goddamn,
I will download, Sam-I-am!

But if your app is for consumption
Do not count on my presumption.

I do not want your stupid app
I will not use this siloed crap.
Your interstitials make me mad!
My ad blockers will make you sad.
I do not like this, Sam-I-am.
I do not want this mobile spam!
Let this trend begin to ebb
Redecentralize the web!

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